A soft, gentle landing

“I completely understand” are the words I choose on a daily basis to remind my regular clients that I am sensitive to their life’s challenges.
The sex-work industry requires constant diplomacy, understanding, and awareness of the fragile male ego. Want, need, and desire are three completely different things in this business.
* Want: I want to see this mega-hot provider. She triggers the passionate desire I crave. Her photos stimulate my primal instincts. Her written profile tells me she understands what I want and will give it to me.
* Need: I crave physical intimacy. I seek a companion because solitary release does not satisfy my primal needs. I need her to be available right now, because my day is busy and I have only a short window of availability; she needs to be convenient.
* Desire: I desire to feel deeply connected. I desire to feel masculine and alive. I want her to desire me in a way that makes me feel desirable.

Fast food meets a want, a need, and a desire instantly. It’s only inconvenient when you must wait in a long line at the drive-through or when the app delivery driver is stuck in traffic.
Dealing with human beings offering a one-on-one, personalized service is a completely different kind of business than fast food, yet it’s often comparable.

The drive-through serves stressed parents with a car full of hungry kids, businesspeople on their lunch breaks, and the occasional budget-conscious diner who orders a Happy Meal and acts as if they have a child.

As a provider, I meet the spouse who hasn’t been touched in years, the business traveler seeking discreet spice during a conference, and those with a modest fun budget hoping to get lucky, often with the attitude, “If you don’t ask, you never know.”

As a mature provider, it’s safe to say my target audience is primarily mature gentlemen. There are a few random cities I tour where I might get booked by a mega-hot hedge-fund manager in his 30s or a fit lawyer in his 40s, but the majority are 50 and older. Additionally, I live in a resort community where the wealthy own multiple homes and spend their winters here golfing, playing tennis, or pickleball.
Hearing men talk about their latest joint replacement, prostate-cancer survival, or a wife who has gone through menopause and lost interest is a normal conversation.

The snowbird men in my resort community tend to be fun, upbeat, and in great shape. Six months of the year, I see them; we rekindle our seasonal affair, they share travel stories, and they bring photos of their newest grandchild. There are also years when one of my favorites does not reach out, and in a moment of courage, I Google the obituaries to see whether it’s just me or whether he has passed away.

Male aging often brings increased estrogen. Men become more sensitive. Life experiences make men more self-aware. The wealthy men I see often have remarkable lives behind them. Their past was powerful. They broke the glass ceiling in their fields back in the day. Their children went to the best schools and now earn three times more money, having surpassed their parents’ level of success tenfold.
The other men I meet are handsome, fit, in their late 50s or early 60s, and going through a brutal divorce from their first wives. These men can be volatile. After a lifetime of getting whatever they wanted, they sometimes find it difficult to control their future exes. The younger companions or sugar babies may be less reliable due to his emotional instability and her inability to blackmail him now he is in a divorce.

The top emotional landscape among my clients includes gentlemen going through divorce after surviving a terminal illness. If they have five to ten years left, they prefer not to remain in a dead marriage. They are grateful to be alive and may have turned to yoga, meditation, or therapy to create balance for the first time in their lives. They crave being adored and appreciated, and they often enjoy a touch of experimentation in new areas.
He logs on to a well-known website in his area or searches for “companion/escort near me.” This is where our story begins.

Men are visual. Women tend to seek safety, financial security, and intellectual companionship. Here we stand together on both sides of the screen: he looks at an ad, and she is the woman in the picture. Two people trying to meet each other’s needs, bearing the baggage of life that came before.

* I am Buddhist, and it is my firm belief that human kindness serves everyone. I strive to be fair to all. There are days when my composure wavers and I lose my temper. Too many people have overstepped my boundaries, and I am not happy. Yet kindness always feels rewarding. Being with someone who allows me to be kind and who returns that kindness is a wonderful blessing.